Behind Locked Doors and Sound-Proof Walls
by Kitsune232
Summary: They say a picture is worth a thousand words. That's why I hate them. Because if you compare my picture from before and now, you can see just how jaded I've become. Kyouya x OC, OC x OC *Edited chapters and edited title*
1. The More Things Change

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club; that honor belongs to Bisco Hatori and Funimation.**

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**Behind The Sound-Proof Walls**

**Chapter 1 - The More Things Change**

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"Do it,"

I narrowed my eyes, and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at the traitor I called a father, "No way in _hell!_"

He narrowed his eyes, and suddenly smirked evilly, "... Do it, or I take your laptop, your KindleFire, your iPod, _and_ your iPhone with me to Finland."

My eyes dilated to car-tire proportions, and I put my hands on my cheeks in horror (think, the _Scream._) "You wouldn't dare!"

His smirk grew even wider, "_Try_ _me._"

We had an un-official staring contest, which went on for about ten minutes or so, ending when I blinked. I sighed, relented, and holding up my right hand, recited my 'pledge'.

"I, Kawashima Riko, do solemnly swear to be polite to the people around me, use expletives sparingly, and to not be of any trouble to the Uncle Ranka or his family. If I fail to live up to my promise, I shall accept any sort of punishment that results from my actions without being told twice." At the end of my 'pledge', I rolled my eyes, stepped out of my father's beat-up Toyota Corolla, slung my Jansport one-strap over my shoulder, dragged my single carry-on luggage piece with me, and headed up the drive-way up towards the Fujioka residence.

"Riko!" I rolled my eyes (a habit I've really got to break unless I want them to get stuck like that) and spun around on one heel so that I was facing him.

"I don't want to hear a single complaint, you hear?" He ordered me sternly, poking his head out of the his window, and narrowing his eyes at me suspiciously.

I kept my eyes firmly on the window, keeping my eyes peeled for cracks in the tint. I had counted up to forty-seven when he suddenly snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Are you listening, Riko? I'm serious; one complaint from Ranka, and I'm going to personally fly down from Finland, drag you out of here by your ears, and dump you in the care of Daichi. Don't think I won't, 'cause I will!" He threatened once more, pointing an accusing finger at me as I rolled my eyes and gave him a mock salute.

"Don't worry; even I know how to behave. Have a nice time on your honeymoon with your-soon-to-be-ex-wife." I said, my mouth turning downwards in a grimace, having adopted a bitter taste.

This, of course, prompted him to scowl, "Now, come on. Don't be like that. This time will be different. In the mean time, at least give her a chance... okay?"

I pursed my lips, not meeting his eyes. That's the same spiel he used for his last marriage. And the one before that. And the one before that... you get the gist: my dad constantly changes bitches and I've grown up to be rather angst-y as a side-effect. So sue me.

He sighed, looked at me again, with my semi-acknowledging him. He pointed an accusatory finger at me once more, "_Play. Nice._ I have given Ranka permission to gut you and throw you in a morgue if you take even a single step out of line."

I raised my brow at this, and he revved the truck, and pulled out of the driveway, "I love you too, Dad!" I called sarcastically after him. In response, I got a quick toot of the horn and a salute before his decal-less bumper blurred into the distance.

I rolled my eyes, and walked up the driveway and up the steps. I pulled the paper I wrote the address written down on a piece of paper, and took a quick glance. I followed the numbers, and when I found the right apartment, I rang the buzzer.

And thus, my life of complete and utter chaos began.

**So? Like it? Hate it? R&R!**


	2. First Impressions Are Lasting Ones

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club; that honor belongs to Bisco Hatori and Funimation.**

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**Author's Note: I'm really sorry for updating this late. My inspiration for this story had run a little dry, and I wasn't sure how I should continue it. I literally re-did it at least _ten times _before I was even remotely satisfied by the results; though I'm still not even sure about this chapter. **

**-sighs- But enough babbling! I hope you enjoy the chapter! **

**P.S. Whether you like the chapter or not, please review! ^_^**

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**Chapter 2 - F****irst Impressions Are Lasting Impressions**

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"So let me get this straight," I said, my eyes wide and a grin barely suppressed, "You broke a Renaissance vase on your first day of school, and have now been forced into slave labor via a group of six criminally handsome men who call themselves a 'Host Club' and a debt of approximately eight million yen?"

She sighed, "Yes Riko, that is my current situation,"

"That sucks," I stated; pursing my lips.

She sighed—she seems to be doing a lot of that lately... "That is... true."

"I got that," I replied, "What I don't get, however, is why I have to follow you to hell."

She rolled her eyes, "It's not like you have anything better to do anyway. Besides, you owe me for lying to your father over the phone last night, remember?"

I blew a strand of hair out of my face, and sighed, "True. Very, very true. Ah, Life; thou art heartless bi—" Haruhi gave me a pointed glare. I sighed; gritting my teeth, "_Female_ _dog._"

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As soon as we walked into the classroom, we were waved over by two identical twins. Once we arrived, they gave us impish grins, "Hey Haruhi," they said, same impish grins intact, "Who's your friend?" Their eyes traveled up and down my body, and I bit my lip, all of a sudden feeling very, well... _violated_. In perfect unison, they tilted their heads to the side, "And why is she in commoner's clothing?"

I raised a brow, '_Commoner? Really?__ Can't they call us something less... __I don't know... insulting__? Something like...bourgeoisie, or middle-class?'_

Ignoring their rather rude comment about our social standing like it were a regular occurrence (it probably was), Haruhi answered their first question: "Hikaru, Kaoru, this is my cousin; Kawashima, Riko. She's staying with us for a couple of months while her father is on his honeymoon. Riko, these are the Hitachiin brothers: Hikaru and Kaoru. They're in the Host Club with me."

I gave them a short bow; the twins' eyebrows shot up past their hairlines, "We didn't know you had any cousins, Haruhi,"

She shrugged, "You never asked. Besides, there wasn't really a chance to tell you, what with everything that happened yesterday,"

They _hmm'd_ in response, before leaning forward and looking me up and down, "Kawashima—" the one on the left started.

"Riko and—" the one on the right interjected.

"Fujioka, Haruhi." they finished; completely in sync.

My jaw hit the floor. I had heard about things like this; twins that were so...connected that they could pretty determine one another's thoughts and actions before hand. It was fascinating when I read about it, but it was just... _phenomenal_ in person.

"What are you staring at?" they both asked. I blinked for a while before I realize I had been (quite openly) gaping.

"Nothing!" I said a bit too quickly, flushing vermillion red.

Out of the corner of their eyes, the two of them looked at each other. They gave each other knowing smirks before turning their attention back to Haruhi and I.

I frowned, wondering what they could have possibly been thinking about. Haruhi, on the other hand, just sighed and took a seat on the right side of the twins; forcing me to occupy the seat on the left. I sighed as well, and placed my satchel on the desk's surface.

"So, I don't mean to sound rude," I said to the twin closest to me, "But... which twin is which?" I asked, sliding into my seat.

"I'm Kaoru, and he's Hikaru." he said, giving me a small, polite smile.

In response, I grinned at him, "I'll remember that," I said, pulling out my pencil and notebook, "Speaking of which, who manages your club's finances?"

Kaoru looked at me like I had grown a second head. "Our Vice President: Ootori, Kyouya. Why?"

I played with my pencil with my forefinger and thumb for a few seconds before I placed it back on my desk. _'Ootori, Kyouya... why __does__ that name sound so...familiar?' _

I inwardly sighed; resolving to find the answer later before I turned back to Kaoru: jabbing a finger in Haruhi's general direction; scowling, "My _dear_ cousin Haruhi has oh-so-kindly _blackmailed _me into helping out with her _debt._"

Haruhi rolled her eyes; the twins looked at her with raised eyebrows. _Apparently_, they didn't know Haruhi was capable of such horrendous affairs. "I didn't blackmail you, Riko; you owed me a favor, remember?"

I frowned, "Okay, so maybe you _didn't_ blackmail me. However, based on what you've told me thus far, I can only assume that this endeavor may be more burdensome than fun."

She rolled her eyes again, "You're helping me out with an _eight-__million yen debt_; it's not supposed to be _fun._"

"Touche. But still...what's the good of this whole thing if I can't get some fun out of it?"

She sighed—like I said, she's been doing that a lot lately. Maybe its a medical condition... "I'm sure you'll have plenty of 'fun' along the way. In the meantime, just make sure you _behave._" She put a lot of emphasis on the last word; giving me a pointed look.

This time, it was me who rolled her eyes; feeling like a reprimanded child. "Not like I wasn't going to... I mean, your dad has permission to _gut me_ and then _toss me in a morgue_ if I don't."

Haruhi rolled her eyes; the twins laughed; and despite it all, I myself found a genuine smile beginning to lift up the corners of my lips.

_'Maybe, just maybe... I might actually enjoy this.'_

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Class ended: the bell sang its beautiful, melodious music, and I practically ran out of the classroom; Haruhi trailing close behind.

Haruhi decided to go to the library after school, and since I didn't have anywhere to go, as Haruhi hadn't yet given me directions to the clubroom yet (not that I really wanted to go in the first place) I decided to join her.

I have to say, I kind of miss the libraries in my old school: for one, they were quiet, and they had no incessant talking. Where were the old bitty librarians with horn rims when you needed 'em? You know: the ones that had the nerve to kick someone out if they so much as dropped a pin? The ones that weren't (most likely) afraid of getting sued if they so much as _looked_ at one of the students? Oh, right. They were back at Higarashi High - the same place I left them. Away from all the pricks and bricks and over-priced food.

_'What was that thing Haruhi said yesterday?...Ah!' _

"Damn rich bastards," I muttered; flipping to the next page of _Memoirs of a Geisha:_ a book we read today in class.

Haruhi looked up at me; raised her brow; rolled her eyes (thoroughly amused); and shifted her gaze back to her Honors History textbook.

Another bell chimed; I checked my watch, and raised my brow, "Say, Haruhi?" She barely glances up at me, "Weren't you supposed to go to that clubroom twenty minutes ago?"

Her head snaps up, _'Ah, so _now_ she's interested in what I have __to say.' _

"WHAT?!"

I rolled my eyes, "I _said_: you were supposed to go to that clubroom_ twenty minutes ago_, right?"

Her reaction was freakin' _priceless_. Her eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets; dilating to the point where her iris practically disappeared. Her jaw hit the floor in a combination of horror and disbelief, and she got paler by the second.

I (somehow) manage to suppress the smirk that was threatening to grow on my face; shutting my book and pushing up my reading glasses.

We sprinted all the way to Music Room #3—which, mind you, was on the _other side of the __freakin'__ school_, and up three flights of stairs; cursing the fact that the school didn't have elevators with every step I took. Well, I did; I'm not so sure about Haruhi.

When we were (finally) outside the music room, we paused at the door; panting as tried to catch our breaths. When we finally managed to control our breathing again, Haruhi placed a hand on (what I'm pretty sure was) a solid gold door handle and turned it slightly to the right before pushing it open.

Just as she pushed open the doors, a bright light was shined in our eyes, and I covered them with the sleeve of my hoodie in a noble (yet vain) attempt to keep my cornea from being scorched. A deluge of rose petals poured out the door, and I caught faint whiffs of cologne and cake.

I blinked for a minute in attempt to rid my eyesight of the black spots that polluted my vision, before stepping into the room, my eyes widening when I noticed their... _interesting_ choice of décor. The whole room was decked out as some sort of _Balinese jungle_. They even included _animals_.

_'How they got all this crap through the door is beyond me__...__' _I thought, lazily watching as Haruhi stared about the room in a mixture of confusion and distaste.

Suddenly, six voices spoke in practiced unison, causing Haruhi and I to turn towards the owners. The bright light must have disoriented me more than I thought, otherwise there's _no way_ I would have (_or could have_) missed them.

There were six of them in total (as I said before), and they were all the epitome of angelic beauty - or demonic, depending on how you looked at it.

I raised an eyebrow at them. Each boy was clad in an outfit that fit the theme of a tropical paradise (or Nirvana... whatever you want to call it). All of them, save for the boy sitting in a throne-like chair, had bare chests. The tallest one was holding a pineapple (did he watch Psych too, or was that pure coincidence?)

Now that I think about it, if I were one of those girls who think with their hormones instead of their brains, I would have gone 'KYAA!' and instantly fell for one (or maybe even all) of them. But, since I'm not, I only gave them a blank stare before I glanced over at Haruhi. She seemed as unaffected by them (hormone-wise, anyway) as I was.

"I like tropical paradises as much as any other girl, but this is just over the top," I muttered; taking off my reading glasses and hanging them on my collar. One of the hosts (ironically the one who wore glasses) glanced at me instead of Haruhi like the rest of the club. We held eye contact for about two seconds (give or take) before he broke it; pushing up his glasses and smirking slightly.

I shifted my gaze back to Haruhi; thoroughly confused by his strange actions. My right eyebrow shot up when I caught sight of her: she stood next to a tree with a snake coiling around the trunk; thoroughly unamused (and somewhat irritated) by the scenery. Her irritable expression only worsened when a toucan landed on her head. I snorted slightly; turning away and whistling 'innocently' when she turned her head to give me a cold glare.

"You finally made it you two," the Hitachiin twins oh-so-kindly informed us in perfect, almost practiced synchronization; impish smirks intact (per the norm). "You're so late."

_'No shit, Sherlock.' _I thought; rolling my eyes whilst crossing my arms.

I shifted my gaze over to the other boys once the two brothers spoke; analyzing and memorizing their faces.

Besides the red-headed Hitachiin brothers, there was a very tall student with short, spiky black hair and onyx eyes that examined everything with a watchful gaze. Beside him was a rather short boy with light brown hair who if you judged by height (and the fact that he was choking a pink bunny plush to death), seemed to be no older than a Grade school student. The one in the throne had golden blonde hair and was staring at Haruhi with a dreamy, almost lewd expression (Note to self: Watch this person very, _very_ carefully). And of course, there was the boy with pitch-black hair and spectacles who had been staring at me earlier; examining (... no, actually _analyzing_ would be a more appropriate term) everything around with a critical, calculating stare.

I glanced once more at Haruhi; raising my brow once I caught sight of her rummaging through her bag for a bit before pulling out a calendar. I blinked stupidly at her, wondering why she had pulled the thing out in the first place.

"And who are you?" I spun around on one heel so that I was facing the culprit; A.K.A. Mister Glasses. He pushed his glasses up higher on his face; which in effect, caused them to glare, and effectively hid his expression.

I smirked at him in return and gave him a low bow, "Kawashima, Riko at your service. I'm Haruhi's cousin."

"Your cousin?" the one clutching the pink bunny plush asked as he hopped onto the silent giant's back.

Haruhi stuffed her calendar back into her bag and gave him a curt nod, "That's right, Honey-senpai."

_'I knew it. So he's either really smart, or just older than he looks... maybe both.' _I mused, placing an index finger on my chin in thought; eyebrows furrowing together slightly.

"Interesting..." Mister Glasses mumbled. The two of us locked up eyes again, and I made a mental note to watch my back from this point on, "You're an honor student as well, am I correct?"

I pursed my lips, "I... suppose you could say that. Though, I'd think of it as more of a... temporary settlement, if you will."

He raised a brow; jotting something down in his little black book, _'__I have to wonder __though__; what the heck does he __write in there anyway?'_

I sighed; rubbing my temples and ultimately deciding to put that thought on hold (for _now_), "So... what are your names?"

The blonde immediately got to his feet. He stood in front of me; offering me both a wide smile and a red rose, "My name is Suoh, Tamaki. I'm a second year," I silently accepted the rose (one of the pledges I had made was to at the very least try to be polite), and managed to keep myself from rolling my eyes. He seemed nice enough. A Casanova, that's for sure, but nice enough.

He gestured to the silent giant and the boy on his shoulders as I placed the rose in my hair, "Over there is Haninozuka, Mitsukuni and Morinozuka, Takashi. Both of them are third years,"

_'So my theory _was_ right.' _I thought, smirking in satisfaction.

"Everyone calls us Honey and Mori, though," The one with the pink bunny plush said; successfully bringing me back out of my musing and back to the present. He tightened his arms around Mori's (or, at least, who I _guessed_ was Mori) neck; giving me a smile that I can only describe as completely and utterly adorable.

Tamaki continued on; completely unperturbed by Honey's interrupting him, "And those two shady twins are—"

I held up a hand; effectively getting him to (shut up and) clamp his mouth shut, "I already know who they are, senpai," I said, almost monotonously, "They're in my class."

And before I could even blink, Tamaki was in a corner: rocking back and forth and occasionally muttering things to himself; a thick smog of gloom surrounding him.

Okay, I'll admit it; I did feel just a _tiny bit_ guilty. But I also felt a _tiny bit_ pissed off: I didn't even know what I did to incite his actions!

As if reading my mind Mister Glasses said, "Don't mind him; he always does that when he's depressed."

I raised my brows in a mix of concern and disbelief, "Is he by any chance bi-polar?"

Mister Glasses didn't even glance up, "Not that we're aware of,"

I gaped at him with a nonplussed expression for a minute before returning to myself. "And... you are?"

His glasses glinted as he held a hand out for me to shake. I hesitated for a minute before giving his hand a firm shake and then letting my own hand fall back to my side, "Ootori, Kyouya. I'm a second year,"

"You're Ootori-san?" I asked, calling to mind the name Kaoru had given me in homeroom.

He gave a brisk nod; standing up a little straighter at the mention of his name. I smirked up at him as he said, "I am," He was only two inches taller than I was, and not bad looking, either. I'm not really sure why (although I have a pretty good theory), but I tend to notice little details like that.

"Then you're exactly who I was looking for," I said, inwardly smiling in satisfaction; outwardly keeping my expression blasé.

He raised one of his eyebrows, "And why would that be, Riko?"

I jabbed a finger over in Haruhi's general direction, and finally allowed a hint of annoyance to leak out onto my expression. "You and I need to discuss this eight-million-yen debt of my _darling klutz of a cousin_ over there." I explained; my eye giving off a slight, involuntary twitch when I remembered just how much she owed for a freakin' _vase_. I mean, come on: if you have to put flowers anywhere, you can just stick them in a damn fish bowl. Or, if you want to be formal, you could get one from the convenience store for 200 yen. It's not like it's rocket science.

I heard Haruhi's (somewhat indignant) snort before choosing to ignore it.

Kyouya then gave me this fake-ass facial expression that was more often called a 'debate smile', "I would be glad to discuss Haruhi's debt with you as soon as hosting hours are over. So why don't you stay until then?" He asked; though it was clear by his tone of voice (however polite it may have sounded) that it wasn't an option. He then gave me one last 'smile' before turning on one foot; pulling out a mechanical pencil and his little black book before stalking off; jotting something down in aforementioned notebook.

Remember how I said that I might actually enjoy being tangled up with the Host Club? Yeah... I take it back: Haruhi had dragged me to Hell.


	3. Death Notes And Hormonal Teenage Girls

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club; that honor belongs to Bisco Hatori and Funimation.**

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**A/N: Special thanks to Mae Ride, Musicbabe'Life, bloodyrosethorns, and sat8926 for favoriting my story!**

**And thank you Opinr and Mae Ride for the reviews! They're really appreciated!**

**OH! And thanks to M. .Boxy, MissFictionFreak, Miumi-chan, diamondluvr2, readaddict123, and sat8926 for putting my story on their story alert list!**

**I'd give you all cookies if I could! 3**

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**Chapter 3 - Death Notes And Hormonal Teenage Girls**

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... I've been scarred ... for _life_.

I suppose a statement like this usually requires an explanation; that being said, I'll give one.

The Host Club had just opened shop about... ten minutes ago, I should think? Well, since I was stuck here (bored as hell, I might add) I had decided to watch the Hosts at work; analyze their techniques and such - with the exception of Kyouya, who for some reason, was not taking clients today. Instead he was just walking around the room; jotting stuff down in his little black book.

Anyway, I had just finished watching Honey and Mori chat with their clients (well, Honey did most of the 'chatting'; Mori mostly just watched) when I turned my head to watch the twins.

Once my (please insert: _virgin_) eyes landed on them, they went as wide as car tires, and my cheeks went vermillion red. They looked like they were about to _kiss_ each other! And the fact that they were saying the sort of sweet nothings that you'd expect to hear in some cheesy chick flick didn't exactly help! Whether it's an act or not, that sort of thing is WRONG! W-R-O-N-G! Though the twins' clients don't seem to understand this concept...

**(A/N: I have nothing against homosexual people, so I'm sorry if I offended anyone; it's just Riko's character.)**

I rubbed my eyes and turned my head away from them so fast that it was a miracle in and of itself that I didn't get whiplash. My left eye kept giving off these weird, involuntary twitches, and shudders ran through my body. I shifted my gaze to Tamaki; (im)patiently waiting for the images to leave my head - which wouldn't be for a while, since I could still hear them talking seductively to each other.

_'Note to self: Purchase a _REALLY_ big bottle of brain bleach on the way home.' _

"You're not a big fan of our brotherly love package, are you?"

I jumped. Like, twenty feet in the air; landing flat on my arse. My head snapped up, and I gave Kyouya my fiercest glare; which only incited a chuckle and a smirk from him.

My left eye twitched again, "Where the hell did you even come from?! You weren't there just a second ago!" I cried indignantly; jabbing an accusing finger toward him.

His smirk only grew larger (much like my dad...Damn him!), and he pushed up his glasses.

I sighed; accepting the fact that he wasn't going to answer my question, "In answer to your question..." I slowly stood up; brushing imaginary dust off my jeans and turning my gaze upwards so that I could meet his eyes. I turned my gaze to the Hitachiin twins for minute; catching Kaoru's eye and receiving a wink. I waved at him before turning back to Kyouya, "Negatory. It's not right to do... _those things _with your flesh and blood, much less your _twin_ or _anyone_ of the same gender! Incest, twincest, yaoi, yuri... It's all just... _wrong_ and shouldn't be seen in public!" I put my hands in the air to emphasize my point; my eyes wide and crazed.

"Those are some pretty strong words," Kyouya remarked in a level, matter-of-fact tone; bringing his eyes up from his clipboard to give me a soul-searching stare that made me feel like I was some sort of specimen under a microscope, causing me to fidget uncomfortably under his gaze, "Then I'm guessing that your friendship with them is no more?"

A minute passed before I answered, "No. Just because I don't approve of... _that_, doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be good friends with them. Besides, I really have to hand it to them; they are really good actors. I couldn't act like that to save my life."

Kyouya's pen seemed to move just a bit faster as I spoke, "Are you sure it's an act? Is that the conclusion you've come up with?"

"Positive," I replied firmly, "They don't do it anywhere other than in front of their guests, so I'm quite positive that it's just for business."

He smirked; not halting in his writing, and I found myself (once again) wondering exactly what he wrote in that thing. A journal, perhaps? Homework? Finances? ... Death Notes, maybe?

Kyouya looked up from his notebook and looked straight at me; causing me to fidget under his impassive stare, "What?" I demanded; a slight blush beginning to form on my face.

"Riko!" My head snaps towards her, "Could you bring me those drinks behind you?" I glanced over at her to see her standing over the Hitachiin's table. She smiled at me when we made eye contact before turning her attention back to the two girls the Hitachiins were (currently) hosting. I sighed, and grabbed the tray.

"I'll be right back," I muttered; mildly miffed. I felt his eyes follow me as I made my way towards Haruhi, in spite of the fact that his pencil was still actively moving, judging by the _scrit-scrit_ I heard as I neared the Hitachiins' table.

At the table, I placed the drinks down; one in front of each girl. They both gave me a polite smile; which I (hoped that I) returned. They faltered when they saw who I was; blinking at me in confusion. I pursed my lips; scratching the back of my neck. Haruhi, my ever-oblivious cousin, didn't notice that anything was wrong so she merely thanked me before making her way over to where I had just left Kyouya. I watched her; frowning and silently cursing under my breath: clenching my fists and desperately trying to resist the urge to shake them at her.

"Who are you?" My head snapped back towards the guest; who had long brown hair and violet bows tied in her hair. I could tell from her tone of voice that the question wasn't meant to be an insult: she was genuinely and sincerely interested in who I was. She and the guest beside her stared at me in anticipation.

I smiled (semi-genuinely) at her and unclenched my fists, "Kawashima, Riko at your service. I'm Haruhi's cousin."

Both girls eyes widened slightly, "Haruhi's... cousin?"

I nodded. "I'm staying with his family until my dad comes back from his... vacation. In the meantime, I'm on a sponsorship to Ouran."

At the word 'sponsorship', the girl without the bow's eyes seemed to light up in recognition, "Oh! You're the girl who's father just recently got married to the youngest daughter of the Kushieda family, right?"

I bristled at the mention of Arisu, but I quickly covered it up with a 'debate smile' of my own; nodding, "That is correct. Is there anything else you need at the present?"

They both said no, and I went back over to Kyouya and Haruhi. It was faint, but I'm pretty sure they both said their farewells. The twins, on the other hand, yelled their goodbyes across the room, causing quite a few heads to turn. I quickened my pace as I neared Haruhi.

"What's up with you?" she asked. I looked up glared at her.

"I don't want to talk about it!" I snapped. Haruhi, in response, only sighed and took the smallest of steps away from me. I pursed my lips and gave an internal sigh.

_'There I go again...'_

I'm snapped out of my reverie when Haruhi asks: "Why did you take so long with Hikaru and Kaoru?"

I shifted my gaze from aforementioned twins to Tamaki and his (mostly) comatose guests, "Some of the guests asked me who I was, I told them I was your cousin on a sponsorship here, the girl knew who I was, the whole sha-bang."

She _oh'd_ in understanding. She knew exactly how I felt about my new stepmother; if I felt any differently, I'd be staying at one of their estates instead.

"The guests seem to more worked up than usual..."

I rolled my eyes whilst shooting her an almost indiscernible grateful look, "They're standing in a room with a bunch of shirtless boys; _of_ _course_ they're more worked up than usual,"

Haruhi gave me a confused glance; I rolled my eyes once more before explaining, "It's called hormones. You'll understand someday,"

"No thank you, Riko." She said, looking fairly disturbed.

Kyouya chose around that time to butt in, "She is right though," his wrirting never faltered, "Showing some skin proved to be very popular with our clientele."

I gave Haruhi an _I-told-you-so _look, to which she rolled her eyes at before glancing at the twins' table before shifting her gaze over to Kyouya.

"So, are you the one who came up with this tropical paradise idea, Senpai?" She asked after a minute or two; her brow raised as she made her inquiry.

He didn't pause in his writing as he replied, "I have no decision-making authority. All of our club's policies are laid out by our club's King, Tamaki." Kyouya then looked up at us, smirked; pushed up his glasses...again. I then cocked my brow and crossed my arms, "But, I suppose there's no harm in admitting to casually slipping a Bali photo book onto his desk." Kyouya's default I'm-holier-than-thou look stayed intact as he shifted his gaze back to his notebook and continue writing Death Notes.

I internally sighed; and outwardly rolled my eyes at his confession.

"Haruhi, don't you have guests to be attending to?" Kyouya suddenly asked; his smirk growing wider as Haruhi's face drained of all color; eyes wide in disbelief.

"I almost forgot..." she muttered to herself; half-walking, half-running back to her table.

"Haruhi's being very forgetful today," I mused, "First she spaces out during class, then she completely forgets about club, and now she can't even remember that the whole purpose of her _being here_ is to host clients. What's gotten into her?"

"She'll be fine," I glanced over at Kyouya only to see his eyes on me. Honestly, I hadn't really expected him to answer; I was barely conscious of my speaking aloud. I grinned slightly and gave him a nod of thanks before shifting my attention back to Haruhi. She was smiling and laughing with the guests. Whether she was conscious of it or not, it seemed like being in the host club was changing her... and for the better.

Then I caught sight of Tamaki in all his _kingly_ glory. To the average observer, it would seem like he had his full attention on his guests. I, however, am not the average observer; I have taken stalker 101 classes from my best friend/bum of an oldest cousin. I even have a little diploma to prove it. Therefore, I am a certified stalker. And as a certified stalker, it was impossible not to notice that Tamaki was taking occasional glances at Haruhi; his gaze softening when he did.

My lips then shifted into a sly smirk as a thought came to mind: _'Or maybe... she's changing because of _him_.'_


	4. Jealousy And Crazy Devil Twins

******Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. If I did, I wouldn't be writing a _fan_fic, now would I?**

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**A/N: Special thanks to Ringings, Sutori no Unmei, .3, musican216, khfan12, and ronnieangell for favoriting my story!**

**And thank you, khfan12 and ronnieangell for the reviews! They're really appreciated!**

**And last (but most certainly not least), thank you AnimeFreak1001, FreelyContained, Littlebigdreams, Panda-Star7, Ringings, Sutori no Unmei, .3, .ninja159, and musican216 for putting my story on their alert list!**

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**Chapter 4 - Jealousy And Crazy Devil Twins**

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In thirty minutes time, Music Room #3 was once again void of any tropical flora and fauna. The answer as to _how_ was completely beyond me - as I'm sure it would be to any sane person that walked through those double-doors.

...that didn't speak well for the remaining occupants' sanity.

Once everything was put away (and everyone was back in their uniforms thanks to the _dressing room - still _not sure why a default music room would need that), Tamaki made a bowl of ramen (beef flavor - my absolute _favorite_) and went off to an isolated table near the windows because... well, actually I'm not sure yet.

I sighed; my left eye twitching slightly. This, dear reader, is exactly why I want to pay off this damn debt ASAP. Next thing you know, I'll be in a padded cell, chatting it up with Beyond Birthday and Jeff the Killer; discussing the best and most effective way to wriggle out of a straight-jacket.

Everyone else went to another table while Kyouya stayed behind when I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Can we talk _now_?" I asked, 'debate smile' intact. Kyouya's notebook was gone and was replaced by a silver laptop with a pineapple logo - awesome dipshit, if I must say; that brand was rather expensive and I was still trying to save up for one to replace the one I currently had - and since taking on a job while I'm enrolled in Ouran is prohibited, it's rather difficult.

He sighed, and I swear I saw him roll his eyes beneath his glasses, "If we must,"

My left eye twitched and both my teeth and my fist clenched slightly. _'Why that condescending__ bastard!' _

After remembering the purpose of my asking to talk with him, I forced my anger back down; rubbing a particular spot over my left eyebrow in an attempt to quell the oncoming headache, "Look, all I want to know is this; is there any way that I can make Haruhi's debt get paid faster? I'm not here to make a scene or yell at anyone; all I'm saying is that I want to help her get out of this debt as fast as humanly possible."

"By joining the Host Club as well?" The glare on his glasses returned. As did that _stupid smirk_ of his - damn him to the bloody depths of hell!

I sighed; the twitching of my brow the only inclination of my inner death wishes. "If that's what it takes," Then my eyes rounded slightly in horror before I calmly (yeah, right) laid out a final condition: "But I'm not going to host _anybody_, male _or_ female, _ever_!"

Kyouya chuckled lightly, and I flushed vermillion red. Damn him! Damn him! Damn him! DAMN HIM! "We can discuss it with Tamaki when he gets out of his depression,"

I scrunched my nose slightly as I glanced over at Tamaki, but managed to give him a grin - albeit a bit forcibly, "Thanks. Speaking of which, _why_ is he depressed anyway?" I asked, cocking a brow in an amalgamation of curiosity and confusion.

Kyouya sighed, and pushed up his glasses, "He appears to be upset because Haruhi stole one of his best customers,"

I gave him a blank stare that would have rivaled L's. "Seriously? _That's it?_"

He nodded, letting out another sigh, "That's it,"

My left eye twitched, before I rolled my eyes, "Typical. Just freakin' _typical,_"

Kyouya nodded, and we both made our way over to the table. Kyouya took a seat next to Haruhi, placing his laptop on the table; powering it up before typing away. On the other side of Haruhi was Honey, who was holding Usa-chan into in a death grip to his chest, and Mori. The twins stood on either side of the table, staring at Tamaki with expressions that defined 'ticked off'. Rolling my eyes, I made my way over to Kaoru before I sat on the table, my face on my fist as I stared at Tamaki's back with a bored expression.

A few minutes went by before Hikaru snapped, "Hey, Boss! Why don't you stop eating that commoner's ramen and come over here and help us with the party planning?" His tone was _dripping_ with irritation - another thing to note: Hikaru seems to be the more temperamental and ornery of the two. He's also the one who always initiates their... _act_. Cue shudders.

"Does it really bother you that Princess Kasuka has taken a liking to Haruhi?" Kaoru asked, his left eye twitching slightly.

"He shouldn't be surprised," I shifted my position slightly so that I was facing Kyouya, "She's had the illness for a while now, hasn't she?"

"What illness?" Haruhi and I asked in unison. We locked eyes for a moment before I smirked; poking her nose, "Jinx! You owe me a soda!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes at me before turning back to Kyouya for an answer. But Kyouya wasn't the one to answer our question: Hikaru was.

He stood behind Kyouya as he answered, "She's got the Host-Hopping Disease,"

Kaoru moved to Hikaru's right, "A.K.A. the Never-The-Same-Boy-Twice Disease."

"So... she's boy-crazy?" I asked, cocking my brow. I hadn't really expected anyone to answer, so that's why I nearly yelped when Kyouya paused in his typing to look up at me and smirk.

"I suppose that, in a way, you could say that, Riko," He then turned to Haruhi, "Usually our clients choose a favorite Host and then see them regularly. However, Princess Kanako tends to change her favorites... on a regular basis." Having added his two cents, he went back to his typing.

Honey took a spot between Haruhi and Kyouya, "That's right," he said with a smile that I could only describe as adorable, "'Cause before she was with you, she was with Tama-chan!"

I got a mental image of Kanako with her arms around Tamaki's neck; his around her waist. Somehow, it wasn't all that hard to imagine; Tamaki being as touchy-feely as he was.

Haruhi's sharp, almost bored tone-of-voice jolted me out my reverie, "Oh. So he's upset that I took her from him?"

Tamaki practically teleported over to us, his bowl of ramen completely forgotten. He glared at Haruhi, breathing hard as he seemingly tried to reign in his temper. Having failed, he screamed in our faces: "Shut up! I couldn't care _less_!"

Something wet and warm hit me right between the eyes. I crossed my eyes in an attempt to look at it before I scowled and wiped off the stray spittle with the edge of my sleeve. "_Dude. Say_ it; do not _spray_ it."

Tamaki flushed slightly before glaring at me through narrowed eyes. He marched back over to the windows, before turning on one heel to glare at us. Haruhi hesitantly (reluctantly?) rose to her feet to stand beside me and calmly watched as Tamaki flipped a bitch on us.

"I'm running out of patience!" He yelled. He jabbed an accusing finger at Haruhi; a determined (and almost feral) look in his eyes, "Haruhi, it's time you started dressing like a girl!"

Haruhi tilted her head to the side in confusion as she voiced my exact thoughts: "Huh?"

Tamaki put both his hands on his head; violently shaking it from side-to-side - something that could not have been good for his health. "I don't understand how you can be so popular with the ladies when you _yourself_ are a lady!"

I sighed, deciding to _ignore_ the sexism in his comment, "There are two possible answers," I held up my index finger, "One, your clients are just that dense," I made a peace sign at him, "Two, your clients are bi-sexual," I placed a thoughtful finger to my chin, eyebrows furrowed in thought, "Which, considering how much yaoi and yuri they read, is something I can't rule out."

Tamaki blinked stupidly before he decided to (ignore me and) continue his rant, "F-Furthermore, no one in the _entire school_ knows the truth except for those of us here!"

The twins then appeared on either side of him, "Yeah, she opted out of taking gym classes," I narrowed my eyes. _Hikaru._

"And the attendance numbers are all co-ed so no one can tell." _Kaoru. _

Great job, guys. That probably worked _wonders_ for Tamaki... not that I have much room to talk.

Tamaki ran out of the room, leaving a metaphorical trail of dust behind him. He came back pushing this huge trunk that sort of reminded me of Pandora's Box. He started rummaging through the container; muttering things under his breath. I noticed some writing on the side of the trunk, and put my reading glasses on; squinting to read the kanji. Once I did, I rolled my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.

'King's Private Property,' my ass!

"That's enough Haruhi," Tamaki ordered; his voice slightly muffled. He pulled a huge wooden frame out of the trunk. "Now you listen to daddy!"

The twins moved to my side and my eye gave of a slight involuntary twitch. "How'd he fit _that_ in there? What happened to the laws of physics?" The twins merely shrugged as my grip on my nose tightened.

Tamaki ran straight towards Haruhi before shoving the frame in her face. I blinked: Once. Twice. I released my nose.

It was Haruhi's school ID photo. Only much, _much_ bigger.

My thoughts were summarized with one sentence: "...the hell?"

"Daddy wants you to go back to being the girl you used to be!" He whined, anime tears running down his face.

Haruhi glared at him through narrowed eyes, "Don't go blowing up my photos without asking me first!"

Tamaki, ignoring Haruhi's rare burst of anger and indignation, ran towards the wall. After placing the frame on an invisible peg, he fell to his knees before proceeding to sob his retinas out.

The other Hosts ignored his theatrics like it was a regular occurrence (it was), and casually gathered around him and the photo. Hell, even _Kyouya_ got out of his seat to look at it.

Haruhi was still fuming when she went over to them, but her anger almost immediately dissipated as she caught sight of the spellbound boys. Haruhi looked rather confused as to _why _they were so fascinated by her photo, whereas I just made a mental note to change the lock on the doors and windows...and install a security camera or two. Hey, you can never be too careful, right?

Then Hikaru's voice shattered my reverie. "The longer I look at this photo, the longer I wonder: how could _this_ possibly become _that_?" His eyes traveled from the photo over to Haruhi. The other Hosts followed suit as they waited patiently for Haruhi to satisfy they're curiosities.

Haruhi rolled her eyes, and then proceeded to tell them all about how one of the neighborhood brats got gum in her hair the day before the first day of school. Well, those weren't her _exact _words, but the word _kid _is pretty much synonymous with the word _brat_ so it might as well have been.

Suddenly Tamaki was on his feet again. "A girl should never refer to herself as a _duuuude!_ Mama!" Haruhi barely glanced down at him as he turned to the other Hosts for help. "Haruhi's using those dirty words again!" Tamaki then fell back to his knees and pulled out a handkerchief; sobbing into it - rather loudly, I might add.

_'Note to self; never refer to myself as a '_dude' _within earshot of Tamaki.'_

After that, I slowly moved away from Tamaki and stopped as soon as I was in between Kyouya and Kaoru, my arms crossed as I blew a strand of hair from my face.

_'Y'know, suddenly the idea of a padded cell in between BB and Jeff in a straight-jacket suddenly sounds a lot more appealing...' _

Kaoru's voice jolted me out of my musing. "I'm sorry, but who is 'Mama'?"

Kyouya sighed; once again pushing up his glasses. "Based on club position, I assume it's me."

I snorted at the idea of Kyouya carrying an infant Haruhi that consistently sent Tamaki (who was apparently the daddy) into the pits of depression, "_Mama_... that's just comedy _gold_." I peered up at Kyouya, an impish grin spreading across my features as I saw that his annoyance was starting to seep through as he glowered at me.

I then turned back to Haruhi - who was looking at the world-renowned imps (A.K.A. the Hitachiin brothers) with stricken eyes. "No, but the party doesn't have anything to do with my quota, right? I'm not interested in attending events like that, so if I could please be excused..."

Tamaki's eyes flashed evilly as he stood up. "Definitely not," Tamaki placed a hand on his chin as he smirked; somewhat reminiscent of Kyouya. "Refined gentlemen must always know how to dance. If you want to live the life of a Host that badly, you'll have to show us how far you're willing to go, Haruhi. I order you to master dancing the waltz in one week, and you will demonstrate for us at the party," He gracefully spun once in a circle at the word _party_ before pointing a finger in her face. "Or I'll tell the entire school that you're a girl and knock you back down to errand boy!"

Haruhi seemed to die a little inside as she realized that there was no way out of her (please insert: pitiful) predicament.

Tamaki must've realized it too, because he had this smirk that practically screamed _Kyouya. _He lowered his and hand and moved closer to Haruhi's face. "And I know just the person who can help you, too..."

Haruhi seemed to come to herself a bit as she sent me these really cute puppy dog eyes that screamed SOS. Rolling my eyes slightly, I nodded before plastering a smile on my face. "Kasukazaki-san, of course!"

Tamaki went as white as a sheet of wide-ruled folder paper. He slowly turned his head towards me, and as he stared at me with these massive, begging puppy dog eyes, I almost caved.

Keyword being: _almost._

Honey looked up at me; a slightly calculative look on his face (which was kind of unsettling, considering the fact that we're talking about the 'boy-lolita') as he gripped Usa-chan slightly tighter, "Why do you say that, Ri-chan?"

I rocked back and forth on the balls of my feet as I kept my 'innocent' smile intact, "Because Haruhi needs someone to do the female part since she has to learn the male lead. In other words..." I looked back up at all of them; my smile growing larger with each word, "None of _you_ can help her because you all have to do male leads as well."

Tamaki's lower lip quivered violently as he retreated to what Haruhi and I had dubbed his 'corner of woe'. I rolled my eyes in disgust; finally dropping the 'innocent' smile: _What a freakin' drama king!_

The twins then wrapped their arms around my shoulders and moved their faces closer to mine - an action that made me turn a _lovely _shade of vermillion red, something that did not go unnoticed by the little imps, judging by their smirks. "Why don't _you_ just teach her then?"

I shrugged (or, at least, it would have been a shrug if not for my two _favorite_ leeches), "'Cause I can't waltz. Besides," I pinched both their arms (eliciting a very loud "Ow!" from the both of them; effectively forcing them to let me go) before walking over to Haruhi and slinking an arm around her shoulders, revealing that I was a good eight inches taller than her - thus _too tall_ to stand in as her partner. "It'd be more practical to find someone...more _level_ with Haruhi's height."

Kyouya smirked and pushed up his glasses—per the norm, "She raises an excellent point,"

The twins glared at me, rubbing their sore appendages. Then a metaphorical light bulb went off over their heads and they simultaneously smirked.

Did anyone else feel a pair of hypothermic hands do the Itsy-Bitsy Spider down their back, or was that just me?

"Then it's settled," Their smirks grew larger. "Princess Kasuka will teach Haruhi how to waltz while we teach you, Riko!"

Crazy Devil Twins say _what?!_

My jaw hit the floor and I paled significantly; my olive skin tone shifting to a very sickly shade that one only sees on victims of Leukemia at it's worst. "Wait just a second...!"

The twins cut me off with smug smirks as each grabbed one of Haruhi's arms; making what I had dubbed (as of five seconds ago) a Haruhi sandwich. "C'mon, Haruhi! Let's go find Princess Kasuka!"

"You don't even know if she's still here," Haruhi reminded them, a slightly desperate look in her eyes as she attempted to dissuade them - though she was rather unsuccessful as she was still a tad bit disoriented by Tamaki's earlier comment about knocking her a couple of rungs down the ladder as an errand boy.

Both twins' heads snapped to the (please insert: unofficial) bona fide creeper, "Kyouya-senpai...?"

Kyouya didn't even glance at them as he went back over to his laptop to continue doing... _whatever_ he does on his laptop, "Outside in the courtyard. Hard to miss her,"

Haruhi's mouth dropped open and gave me a lovely view of her tonsils - revealing that she was _thoroughly_ creeped out. I, on the other hand, was only _mildly_ creeped out (though still creeped out) as I had expected this; he probably slipped GPS devices into their bags or something.

"We wanna come too!" Honey exclaimed. He grabbed hold of Mori's hand and dragged the taller student towards the door - which was a sight to see, considering the fact that Mori was several heads taller than Honey.

I rolled my eyes and groaned quite audibly as soon as they were all out of the room; somehow managing to crank my jaw back to its normal position. Then I remembered why I had come in the first place, I approached Tamaki in his 'corner of woe', "Senpai? Can I talk to you, please? It's about Haruhi's debt,"

Tamaki looked up at me with the same puppy dog eyes that he had earlier; only with ten times the intensity. He mumbled something about how 'it was his duty as a father to teach his daughter how to waltz,' before he turned back to the wall to draw swirly lines with his index finger.

My left eye twitched as I heaved an exasperated sigh. Kyouya sighed as well before closing the lid of his laptop. He pushed his glasses up; glare intact, before standing up and going over to him and cross his arms over his chest: tapping his foot.

"Quit being a moron, Tamaki," Kyouya told him; his jaw beginning to clench ever so slightly. Tamaki didn't budge as he continued muttering things to himself and drawing swirls in the wall. In fact, his mutterings got slightly _louder_ after Kyouya's statement.

Okaaayy... Operation: Blame The Twins is commenced in order to avoid possible bloodshed on Kyouya's part!

"I'm sorry about what happened, senpai. I was just joshing when I suggested that Kasukazaki-san should teach Haruhi. I didn't think Hikaru and Kaoru would _actually_ take me seriously."

His head snapped up, "So it's those shady twins' fault?"

I cocked an eyebrow at 'shady twins', but gave an affirmative nod, "Yup. Pretty much."

The smog of depression dissipated; now replaced with flames of anger. His expression was a mix of feral and pissed as he clenched his fists to the side, "When I get my hands on those two I'll...!"

"Do absolutely nothing," I finished for him; examining my fingernails before glancing up at him with a raised brow, "There isn't a plausible reason for you to harm those two. Why do you care, anyway? So what if Haruhi learns to waltz with another girl? Does it really matter?"

All flames immediately dispersed as his expression took on one of thoughtfulness. I raised both eyebrows at him when he didn't respond to my question, before I placed my index finger on my chin; tilting my head slightly to the side.

There was _definitely _a word to describe how Tamaki was reacting to all of this - I just couldn't quite place it. I furrowed my eyebrows slightly, before I filed it away for further thought; shrugging slightly.

I then stole Haruhi's earlier seat next to Kyouya; lacing my fingers together before resting my head on them. Slowly, Tamaki took a seat across from me. Kyouya glanced at both of us before going back to his typing.

"So, what did you need to talk to me about?" Tamaki inquired softly; his expression still thoughtful.

I unlaced my fingers before taking my long-forgotten reading glasses off and twirling them between my fingers, "Is there any way for me to help pay off Haruhi's debt? I'll do pretty much anything."

Tamaki placed a thoughtful finger to his lips; his eyebrows furrowed slightly before a sparkle appeared in his eyes as he returned to himself, "You could take Haruhi's old position as the Host Club's dog!"

My nose wrinkled slightly at the word 'dog', but I nodded, "What would I do as your...'dog'?

Tamaki beamed at me as he took one of my hands; moving his face closer to mine, "Just odd jobs here and there. Cleaning, attending to guests, getting sweets, hors d'oeurvres, and things of the like."

I raised a brow, "So, basically... I'm going to be a maid?"

Tamaki nodded slightly, "I guess you could call it that,"

I nodded slowly, drinking in this new-found data, "Sounds easy enough. Anything else?"

Tamaki's face lit up like a Christmas tree as he released my hand. His thoughtful look returned as he placed his hand on his chin in thought, "I can't really think of anything else at the moment, but we'll let you know if anything comes up. Do we have a deal?"

I nodded; sticking my hand out for him to shake, "We've got a deal, senpai,"

Tamaki stared at my hand for a moment, before hesitantly giving it a firm shake; nodding. He glanced at Kyouya, who was smirking behind his glasses, "Anything else you want to add, Kyouya?"

Kyouya kept his smirk plastered on his face as his eyes traveled up and down my body before locking eyes with me. Judging by how hot my cheeks felt right then, I was flushing a rather flattering shade of vermillion red, "Welcome to the Ouran Host Club, Riko," His eyes traveled up and down once more before he turned back to his laptop; smirk intact, "I do hope you enjoy cosplay."

My eyes widened slightly, "Say what?

Kyouya's smirk only grew larger - though I didn't think it anatomically possible. I gulped slightly as my mind flashed back to an anime convention I had been to once before I gulped almost imperceptibly. Let's just say I've a _really_ crappy experience with a Samus suit and leave it at that, shall we?

I sighed; running a hand through my midnight black locks as I contemplated the pros and cons of fleeing the country before I decided that the cons outweighed the pros too much; it'd be easier to just stick it out and just try to have as much fun as possible.

_'Speaking of which...'_ My brow furrowed as I remembered my unfinished musing. _'What was that word...?'_

Then I had a moment of clarity. And I felt like smacking myself - it was just so glaringly obvious!

The word I'd been searching for was _jealous:_ Tamaki was _jealous_ of Kanako.

A smirk tugged at the corners of my mouth. _'That means...I was right. Tamaki _does_ have a crush on Haruhi.' _My smirk grew even wider as one final thought occurred to me. _'This is going to be great teasing/blackmail material in the near-by future.' _


	5. Banana Peels and Aces of Spades

**Disclaimer: I don't own OHSHC; all affiliated characters and whatnot belong to Bisco Hatori - but any OCs or original story arcs belong to me! **

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**A/N: I am so sorry! I meant to post this sooner but my computer bugged on me and I accidentally erased all the drafts of my OHSHC fics!**

**Arrgh!**

**…anyways, angst-ing aside - special thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited and/or followed this story!**

**With an ****_extra_**** special thanks to DeadlyAsh for adding my story to your community! Really, I appreciate all the support!**

**Oh! And just a heads-up; I'll be introducing new characters and story arcs soon enough – not telling you exactly when, but it'll be soon~!**

**Tsuzuku!**

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**Chapter 5 – Banana Peels And Aces of Spades~!**

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"As fun as this is – and I use that term very, _very_ loosely," I said; my eyes firmly planted on my feet as I stumbled through my lesson. "The only thing I've really learned so far is how to step on your toes."

At that moment, I made the fascinating (yet disturbing) discovery that even their _eye twitches_ are in sync – yeah, I know. "Quit looking at your feet, and _maybe_ – _just maybe_ – you'll stop stepping on our toes!"

I furrowed my brows as I tilted my head slightly in confusion, "Wouldn't that make me step on your toes _more_?"

"Trust us, Riko."

"Look up."

I forced myself to maintain eye contact with the twin nearest me (whom I learned to be Kaoru) and, surprisingly, immediately after having done that, I magically stopped stepping on their toes.

One could practically feel the smugness radiating off of them in waves and infecting the air as they trilled: "We told you so~!"

I scowled before stepping on their toes again – this time, on purpose. "Shut the hell up, you damn pricks!"

The twins looked relatively unphased: merely chuckling as I huffed; yanking hand from their grasp as I practically shoved the words out of my mouth. "Thank you for teaching me how to waltz; I'll be taking my leave now."

Their damn laughter didn't stop until I had completed my trek over to Tamaki's 'windowsill of woe', pulled out my iPhone, and starting looking up the best ways to murder someone without leaving evidence. Having found none, I sighed; and put it back in my pocket.

When their laughter finally _did_ cease, my curiosity was piqued enough so that I looked up at them; only to wrinkle my nose at them when I realized they were starting to dance again – only this time; with _each other_.

Now, while I said that I wouldn't judge the twins for their 'brotherly love' act, I _never_ said I would be _comfortable_ with it.

That being said, it shouldn't have surprised anyone when I shut my eyes tightly before sharply averting my gaze; silently vowing to make very good use of my brain bleach's exorcisation powers.

In an attempt to get momentary relief from the images I had in my head, I shifted my gaze over to Haruhi's crash course with Kanako on Waltzing 101; smiling appreciatively at her rapid progress, considering the fact that she had no prior dancing experience – like, at all.

Right around then, a metaphorical light bulb went off over my head: and I pulled my iPhone back out of the pocket of my white-washed jeans and turned on the video function; a smirk chiseled onto my face as I directed the camera lens at the spectacle in front of me.

And, as if on cue, Haruhi tripped on… air, I guess, as she fell straight forward - and on top of her dance teacher. My smirk grew larger as I watched her eyes dilate to tea-saucer proportions and her cheeks flush a dark shade of vermillion red. When she glanced my way, I pointed once to my iPhone before I gave her a thumbs-up and mouthed: "Smooth move, Gladys,"

Haruhi's face turned a shade of red that I didn't even know _existed_. "I'm so sorry, Kasukazaki-san!"

Kanako merely gave her a seductive smirk as she slinked her arms around Haruhi's neck and tightened her grip; successfully bringing Haruhi's face closer to her own. "It's quite alright, Haruhi-kun,"

I stopped the film right there; frowning slightly as I analyzed Kanako's expression more thoroughly. Strangely enough, something about her expression seemed… I don't know, _off_.

I stiffened slightly when I felt the hairs on the back of my neck bristle slightly, and I craned my neck backwards only to come face-to-face with the Devil himself – in other words, the infamous VP of the Host Club: Ootori, Kyouya.

Kyouya's glasses had their infamous glare of them; concealing the ash-brown in his eyes as he pushed them up for what was probably the thousandth time today. "Could you follow me, please?"

I nodded once before my chair scraped my chair back and followed him back to a room I really paid attention to before. I stole one last backward glance at Kanako before I entered in after him.

I scanned the room once; recognizing it as some sort of his kitchen area. Wooden cupboards lined the walls; polished marble counters directly underneath them. In the corner of the room sat a fridge that was roughly the size of the Arc de Triomphe; a stove and a stainless steel sink directly adjacent to it.

While I was somewhat surprised that this placed had a kitchen, at the same time, I _wasn't_; I _had_ seen Tamaki eat several bowls of ramen in the Music Room. Besides, they had to prepare their refreshments and store their cakes _somewhere_.

_'Come to think of it…'_

I furrowed my eyebrows once before I approached Kyouya, who had taken to leaning against the counter and writing in his notebook, and waved a hand in front of his face. "Senpai? What am I needed for?"

He paused in his writing: ash-brown eyes snapping to my taupe ones before he gestured to a box in the corner with his fountain pens; the word 'Fragile' on the side of the box on the side of the box with a red arrow anabatic to the ceiling. I walked over to the box; carefully removing the lid as I glanced inside. Once I did, I saw tea cups, plates, and a tea pot in there: all of them emerald green with gold accents and trim. I picked up one of the cups to inspect it; particularly the seal at the bottom of it.

"Please be careful with that," I jumped at least ten feet up in the air; somehow managing to keep a tight plate on what I knew to be bona fide Ginori – judging by the brushstrokes on the seal, anyway. I gingerly put the tea cup back into the box before turning to give Kyouya a sheepish grin.

He sighed; pushing up his glasses (again) before he set his notebook on the (_very_ expensive looking) counter. "Riko, I need you to set up a table for Princess Kanako. Brew Earl Grey tea and put shortbread cookies on a plate. You will find both items im the cabinet above the fridge."

I crossed my arms; cocking a brow, "Is that all, Senpai?"

He merely smirked before he left the kitchen. I sighed before making my way over to the aforementioned cabinet above fridge and pulled the refreshments out of the cabinets.

* * *

After I finished making the tea and put the shortbread cookies on some of the nicer-looking plates, I loaded them onto the tray before I went out into the main part of the Music Room.

I peered around the room, smiling slightly as I did; my fellow classmates and/or seniors were taking a break from waltzing (with the exception of Haruhi, of course) and were back to doing their own thing:

Mori and Honey were seated on one of the couches: talking rather animatedly about who-knows-what – well, Honey was, anyway: Mori was just leaning back against the couch and listening; nodding every so often.

The twins were staring at Haruhi as she finally got the hang of waltzing; their gazes intent. When I caught Kaoru's eye, however, he gave me a small grin that I reciprocated - which shifted into an expression of disgust when I caught sight of our supposed 'King'. Kaoru followed my gaze, and upon seeing what was causing my disgust, snickered quietly.

His majesty, since he couldn't sit in his 'corner of woe', (because the guests would ring the loony bin as soon as they saw him like that), he had taken residence on the windowsill; sulking his heart out. I rolled my eyes once more before I shifted my gaze to someone who _didn't_ make me question my sanity every two minutes.

Kyouya had made his way back over to a table in the back of the room; occasionally glancing around the room and commencing his stalker-like ways and jotting down data he seemed to acquire through sight alone – I swear; if he wanted to, he could make a lot of money being the next L. But, then again, he seemed like one of those people who could do well in anything they set their mind to it - which was probably one of the reasons I both admired him and couldn't stand him.

He met my gaze coolly at some point in time, and I gave him a wry smile before I gestured to Tamaki and mouthed: "Has he moved at all since we left?"

He shook his head once before he sighed – which anyone with half a brain could tell meant: "No, he has not," – before he went back to writing Death Notes. Granted, his black notebook _did_ lack the signature white English letters on the front, but, you never know...

I briefly pictured Kyouya with the same maniacal grin that Raito had before I shook my head rapidly; slapping my cheek with my recessive left hand as I willed the (admittedly scary) image from my head.

_ 'I've got to stop watching _Death Note_ re-runs before bed…'_

When I shifted my gaze back to Kyouya's general direction, he was looking at me with a cocked brow and a smirk, as if to ask: "May I ask: why are you hitting yourself?"

I scowled at him before I shook my head like: "No, you may not,"

Ignoring his cocked brows, I strolled over to the table Kanako was seated at; with Haruhi standing next to her as they smiled and talked animatedly about something I couldn't quite espy. Their mingling ceased when I handed Haruhi the tray.

Since Haruhi had silently agreed to give me a break (something she showed by pouring the tea), I strolled over to Kyouya before offering him an 'innocent' smile as I inquired: "Is there anything else that needs to be done, _Mama_?"

Kyouya visibly tightened on his fountain pen before he looked up from his notebook to glower at me; his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Actually, there is one more thing you could do for me, Riko," He got to his feet and pushed up his glasses; tucking his notebook under his arm before placing his other hand into his pants pocket and began his trek over to Kanako's table.

I allowed the 'innocent' smile to morph into a smug smirk, "And just what might that be, Mama?"

He didn't falter in his step as he passed me, "Quit calling me 'Mama'."

I snorted; rolling my eyes before I gave him a mocking bow and trilled, "As you wish, _Mother Dearest_~!"

He paused in his step before he sighed and shook his head before he continued his trek over to Kanako's table; with me skipping behind him with a small smirk on my face.

I stopped walking when Kyouya did to avoid bumping my nose on his back before I moved slightly so that I had a nice view of Kanako's expression before I narrowed my eyes: this expression was different from the expression she had on earlier – it was one of genuine happiness; as opposed to the fake, plastered smile she had on earlier.

I laced my hands together behind my back before I, out of habit, hunched forward slightly to get a better view; watching the scene as intently as one would a season finale of _Psych_.

"Oh my; this is a new tea set, isn't it?" She asked; a small smile forming on her face as she peered into the cup. "It's Ginori."

Haruhi, who now had the bronze tray tucked behind her back, cocked a brow in confusion, "Ginori?"

I leaned in and whispered in her ear, "He was the founder of the Doccia porcelain factory in the 1700s. He essentially pioneered the development of porcelain production, and items made by his company are the best of the best – as well as some of the most expensive." I rolled my eyes after a second, and said as an afterthought: "But I guess that's just an everyday thing for these damn rich pricks."

Haruhi blinked: once; twice. After a while, she mumbled: "Oh,"

"You have a keen eye, mademoiselle," Kyouya said; one of those fake-ass smiles practically super-glued to his face. "As a matter of fact, we just got them yesterday. We decided it was about time for the club to ameliorate its tea sets."

"I see…" Her smile grew larger. "What a pretty color," She got this strange, nostalgic, melancholic (whatever you want to call it) look in her eyes as she peered deeper into the cup. "Lovely."

My eyes widened a fraction, and I straightened up.

"You must really be into tableware, huh?" Haruhi asked; no (obvious) malice intended.

Kanako went as stiff as a birch board: her eyes dilating to car-tire proportions as she jumped; slamming her cup down with so much force it was a miracle in and of itself that the poor thing didn't shatter on impact - and that Haruhi wouldn't get another however-much-that-thing-costs added to her debt.

Both my brows shot up straight past my hairline as she began to awkwardly stutter, "N-not really! I-I mean, no, of course I'm not! What on_ Earth_ would give you that idea?" Her voice cracked slightly on the last syllable; her index finger tracing the rim of the cup – an obvious sign of nerves and anxiety.

I didn't need the world's (three) greatest detective(s) or a polygraph to know that was a lie. Really, if she's going to lie about it, she should at the very _least_ make it harder to_ figure out_ that its a lie.

Around that time, the Universe decided to let everything come clear with the answers to unasked questions in the form of a student had never seen before; carrying an unopened box housing the Host Club's newest tableware addition. I met his gaze evenly as he closed the door. "Hello? I here with the new tea cups you ordered."

Kanako visibly stiffened as she let out an almost inaudible gasp. No one else - aside from myself - seemed too notice her reaction, as they had turned their attention to the newcomer.

"Ah, thank you very much. Every item you've chosen for us has been very popular with the ladies – I'm quite impressed."

He smiled slightly, "Well, that's good to hear."

Haruhi gave him her (ultra-cute/ultra-lethal) thousand-watt Host smile as she walked towards him and took the box out of his hands, "So, do you sell tea sets?"

He shook his head; an amused smile on his face, "No; I'm just a regular student. Can't you tell by the uniform?"

Kanako started chuckling; my brow rose as I turned to give her a questioning look. She didn't seem to pay me any attention as she continued chuckling weakly. "Oh, Haruhi-kun; you're so funny that it's cute!" They turned to give her a questioning glance that mirrored my own. "But I guess you can't really be blamed for not knowing," She turned around in her seat to give them a coy smile, "After all: he doesn't _look_ like the heir to a first-class company."

Ouch. _That_ had to sting. I shifted my gaze back to the guy and watched as his smile faltered; shifting into a crestfallen expression as he stared at her with something akin to hurt (and… longing?) in his eyes.

My eyes shifted back to Kanako, who now had her eyes firmly planted downward as if the linoleum floor was the most interesting thing on Earth.

I cocked a brow as I gauged both of their facial expressions; placing a contemplative hand on my chin. The two seemed to have some sort of history together. It was almost like…

"His family's business: the Suzushima trading company, deals directly in the importing of tableware," My gaze shifted to Kyouya as he displayed his first-class skills as a private-eye/bona fide creeper. "They currently have the top market share in the country."

I stared at the box in Haruhi's hand with a new-found sense of respect before they shifted back to Suzushima himself. Poor guy seemed like he was lost in his own world...

"So, whenever something exceptional comes in, we've asked him to send it our way," He pushed up his glasses once before jotting down in his notebook. "He has quite an eye for fine china. Don't you, Suzushima?"

Said boy blinked: brought back to reality by Kyouya's voice. "You think? I've still got a lot to learn, but thank you…" He scratched the back of his neck as he bit his lip and gave us a short bow, "Well, I'd better be going now."

After he left, I took the box from Haruhi and put it in the kitchen. When I went back into the main room, Kanako was facing Tamaki with a glazed expression. That is, until Haruhi voiced observations that _would_ have surprised me, were I an emotionally challenged idiot, of course. "I get the feeling you and that guy are kind of close; are you two friends?"

I nodded once at Haruhi's intuition; she had hit the nail directly on its dull, flat head. However, she missed one very important detail: they had long since exited the 'friend zone.'

Kanako went stiffer than she had earlier today as she made some sort of noise in the back of her throat as she whirled around to face her; her flustered expression (as well as her stuttering) giving away the fact that her next words were a complete and utter lie, and confirmed my suspicions. "D-don't be ridiculous! We barely know each other! W-what makes you say _that_, Haruhi-kun? Now, if you'll please excuse me…" She covered her mouth daintily with her handkerchief before uttering the last bit of her sentence; her voice slightly muffled as she stumbled out of the Music Room: "Take care."

As soon as I was confident she was out of ear-shot, I made my way over to the others; stopping at Tamaki as I crossed my arms and stared at the exit to the Music Room with same amount of intensity Sheldon does whenever he tries to blow up someone's (or, more specifically: Leonard's) head. "Alright; Princess Kanako 'barely knows' - Suzushima, was it? - about as much as a lamb _wants_ to be lead to a slaughter house. Is he her ex or something?"

"Ri-chan~!" Honey trilled as he launched himself onto my back. I stumbled forward a few steps: yelping as he wrapped his arms tightly around my neck; loosening them when he realized that he was unintentionally strangling me. "They _do_ know each other! In fact, Suzushima is Kasuka-chan's fiancé!"

Both my brows shot up in incredulity, "Is that so?" He nodded rapidly thrice. Out of the corner of my peripheral vision, I saw Tamaki cross his arms and close his eyes. I myself started smirking, "Well, _that_ explains it," I placed a contemplative hand on my chin, "Yes, that explains a _lot_."

"Kyouya…" My gaze shifted to said boy just as he looked up at Tamaki. "How long have you known about this?"

Kyouya barely even bat a lash as he replied: "Known about the two of them being engaged?" He opened his notebook before flipping to a particular page in the middle; it was probably some sort of creepy profile page where he kept his blackmail supply. "As you know, I conduct general searches on all our customers," _Nailed it._ "The two were childhood friends, and their engagement was a business endeavor arranged by their parents. I didn't think the information would benefit us, so I disregarded it." I rolled my eyes before I blinked. He never did answer Tamaki's question as to:_ how long he had known..._

Tamaki re-opened his eyes and stared at Kyouya; leaning forward with a thoughtful expression, "I see…"

Honey detached himself from me and reattached himself to Mori as Kyouya continued, "Suzushima, Tohru…" So _that's_ his name. "Excellent grades… mediocre pedigree… He's ordinary-looking, but he's reliable. If I had to fault him for anything…"

The twins came out of nowhere and raised their hands as they added their two cents. "He doesn't have much presence," Judging by the pitch in his voice, it was Hikaru.

"And he's timorous." Kaoru quipped.

"So, in other words… he's boring." Kyouya said matter-of-factly; snapping his notebook shut.

My eye gave off these weird, involuntary twitches as I glared at all three of them. Billions of phrases sat on the tip of my tongue, but I settled with: "At least _he _probably doesn't dissect other guys' worths behind their back."

The twins shrugged; Kyouya cocked a brow; I frowned and rolled my eyes.

Honey seemed to decide at the moment that it was time for him to interject: "Suzushima is a good boy, right?"

"Yeah," I blinked: my gaze darting back to my two upperclassmen as both my brows practically disappeared into my hairline; my eyes dilated to dinner-plate proportions.

Did he just… _talk_?

Tamaki stepped forward until he was in the center of us; his eyebrows furrowed, "Alright everyone; it's time to work on our strategy,"

We all stared at him; brows cocked as we inquired: "Which one?"

"Men (and ladies), it is our responsibility as members of the elite Ouran Host Club to make every girl happy!"

My brows practically disappeared into my hairline as I tilted my head to the side. "The thought itself is nice, but… do you have some sort of plan?"

Tamaki nodded; his smile growing larger with each word. "It's simple, really," He placed a hand on his chin as he rubbed it; seemingly deep in thought. "We must get Princess Kanako and Suzushima back together and happier than ever before Suzushima leaves to study abroad in England!" He fist-pumped: a wide smile on his face as he relayed his plan – or at least, the rough stages of it – to us; stars shining in his sapphire eyes.

I cocked a brow, "So… we're meddling?"

His smile faltered as his hand dropped back to his side; turning to frown at me. "It isn't 'meddling' if we succeed," He insisted.

Haruhi and I exchanged a glance before we shifted our gazes back to him and deadpanned – slowly, as if explaining the concept to an idiot (which, in a sense, we were) albeit a thoughtful one: "Yes it is, Senpai,"

When we left, he still hadn't left his corner. Figures, right?

* * *

A week passed: the pieces of a real plan were pieced together; everyone was given respective roles; and, before we knew it, the day before the party arrived. The Host Club, during that time-frame offered to buy me a dress. However, I politely declined – well, actually, it was more that I flat-out refused. After all, the cost would have most likely been added to Haruhi's debt, and we can't have _that_ happening – not if we want her debt to be paid off before we go to college.

Besides, I already have a dress – one that the twins gave their whole-hearted approval to after I threatened to de-man them with a rusty spoon should they try and disagree.

Anyways… the Host Club had just ended with the boys saying their goodbyes to the guests before they gave their small, practiced speech about how they 'couldn't wait to see them at the party tonight!'

Within the next minute, though, I found myself wishing that hosting hours were longer; the minute the last guest left, the Hitachiin brothers grabbed hold of me and my cousin and dragged us over to the dressing room.

As soon as we entered aforementioned room, Kaoru dropped me harshly to the floor – which in turn, caused me to flinch before I glared up at him. He seemed noticeably unaffected by it as he handed me the garment bag and shoes that I had put in the dressing room earlier.

I sighed before I followed Haruhi into the changing room and stripped before I pulled the plastic wrap off over my dress; unzipping the back before I pulled it over my head and glanced over at the mirror.

It was a crisp, white color and only had one sleeve on my left shoulder. The chiffon skirt was knee-length; the semi-sheerness highlighting the outline of my thighs – and I was suddenly grateful that I had shaved my legs this morning. The pleated bodice clung tightly to my décolletage – but not enough to be classified as slutty. The front of the right side of the waist was covered in sequins.

The flats I had chosen were a glimmering silver; with a pearly gleam.

Haruhi watched at I slipped into my attire with practiced ease; pinching my cheeks and biting my lips to add color to them. "I never took you as the type to go for this sort of thing, Riko,"

I didn't stop biting my lip, causing my voice to be slightly muffled as I said: "I'm not: Lucia has made it her mission to convert me to the dark side of frills and frou-frou,"

She winced, since she too was one Lucia's victims. "I offer my condolences,"

After she finished changing into a suit that both complimented her eyes and hid whatever feminine assets she _did_ have quite nicely, we both stepped out of the dressing room.

The Hosts' reactions had been both been both formulaic and immediate. Tamaki, the twins, and Honey deemed us 'adorable', 'pretty', 'cute', and pretty much every other synonym for the in-between; Mori had usual flatter-than-stale-soda affect – with the exception of the slight flushing of his cheeks; and Kyouya was blank-faced and writing in his Death Note.

Overall, I'd say it was a pretty normal interaction by Host Club standards – though _that_ wasn't really saying much, now was it?

* * *

Two hours later, and the party was in full swing: people were dancing 'to their heart's content', as Kyouya had put it, and the plan was (apparently) in motion, since nearly all the Hosts had disappeared moments before.

Needless to say, Tamaki, being the only Host around, took the brunt of the whole situation, and I almost pitied him - before I remembered that he was the one who had come up with the damn plan. After that revelation, my pity practically evaporated on the spot.

A few minutes later though...

He had somehow managed to slip away - and considering the amount of people here, it was quite a feat - leaving all the guests wandering around like lost puppies.

Very _ignored _lost puppies, I might add.

Since Kyouya had anticipated that this might happen, he had set me aside before the party and asked me to do him a favor and take the position as a guest Host, under the pseudonym 'Riku'. Or, rather: he _told_ me to, adding just a smidge of blackmail to the mix.

As it turns out, the rental fee for the suit he had gotten for me was... _expensive_, and added to Haruhi's debt almost immediately.

Can anyone say: 'this means war'?

* * *

Inside my head, I let loose a string of expletives and death wishes that would have made a drunken sailor hang his head in shame; in the real world, I sucked it up and allowed the fake-ass compliments to flow as I waltzed with each guest for a total of ten minutes each. Occasionally, since I was the 'Magical type' (because Kyouya had somehow learned of my affinity for magic tricks and optical illusions, as well as card tricks), I would show a randomly-selected guest one of the magic tricks I'd learned from a shop I used to work part-time at - they'd squeal, ask me to do another, I'd do a different one, and then I'd move on to the next guest. Mostly though, I just danced and answered questions about myself.

So, by the end of the night, I'm pretty sure I had more blisters than I'll ever need in this lifetime (the comfortable loafers I had were not to blame. It was the constant being on - and stepping on - my feet), as well as a shortness of breath due to tight ACE bandages wrapped around my chest. And, the wig I was wearing was extremely... _itchy_. And I couldn't scratch for fear of it going out of place!

_'Ooh, I hope Kyouya's satisfied, because if he isn't, I'll de-man him with a rusty spoon!'_

"Riku-sama? Is something wrong?"

I blinked, only to see that one of the guests (her name was Ayumi) had put their hands over my clenching fist, and was looking at me in concern.

I smiled warmly; unclenching my fists before I held one of her hands, smirking slightly when she blushed. "Not at all, Ayumi-chan," I said; raising her hand to my lips before I kissed it. Huh. Turns out I'm a better actress than I thought.

I swear: she looked like a human cherry, she blushed so hard.

I licked my lips; watching in amusement as her eyes followed my tongue, and her blush deepened. "I was... deep in thought, I suppose. I apologize for the inconvenience," I released her hand, and began fingering the rings I had on my middle fingers. "How about, as penance... I do a special magic trick, just for you?"

Her eyes widened in excitement, "What kind of trick?"

I was starting to see why the Hosts enjoyed this so much, and, why Tamaki had created this club in the first place. "Levitation,"

I didn't need to look at her face to know that she was grinning.

* * *

The levitation trick had very quickly become viral. Of course, I insisted on doing a different trick the fifth time they asked me to do it again, lest they figure out how the trick works. I had been doing card tricks ever since.

That is, until Kyouya finally came to get me in the middle of a trick.

I had shuffled the cards, and now I was asking a guest (I believe her name was Kumiko) to pick a card. She did, showed it everyone (taking special care to keep the back of it facing me), and put it back on top of the deck, per my instructions.

As soon as she wasn't looking, I moved the card behind the second one before putting the second card (now the first card) to the back of the deck.

"Now, I'll just call the card to the front, so we can reveal your..." I flipped the card over, "Ace of Spades."

Then came the round of applause I had begun to miss over the past few years. It made me grin like the Cheshire Cat.

It was then that Kyouya cleared his throat, "Excuse me ladies, but Riku's shift is finished," the guests pouted. Apparently, they had become rather attached to me in the last forty-five minutes. Oh, well. "If you would all please go the balcony for the last waltz of the night, it would be most appreciated. Thereafter, we will crown tonight's Queen."

That immediately made them perk up, and they all began to head towards the balcony, sending regards to me over their shoulder.

After we were alone, Kyouya's smile shifted into a smirk. "So, did you enjoy yourself, _Riku_?"

I sent him a small grin, startling him somewhat. Sorry, Senpai, but not even your smart-ass comments will be enough to provoke me tonight. "As a matter of fact, Senpai, I did; it's been a while since I'd performed a magic trick, and I'd nearly forgotten what it felt like to perform it and see the effect it has on others." My grin became larger as I laced my fingers together before asking: "That's why he created this club, isn't it? For the simple purpose of making others happy?"

To my surprise, Kyouya actually smiled. And I don't mean one of those fake-ass ones he normally has; I mean a genuine, _real_ smile. "Yes it is, actually,"

I think I'm gonna melt. If you need to ask me why, you've either 1) never seen Kyouya's real smile before, or 2) you're asexual. Simple as that.

I only wish he did it more often.

* * *

Everything was going exactly as planned: the Evergreen tree lit up exactly on cue; the last dance was awarded to Kanako and Tohru; they reconciled; and I managed to snag some hors d'oeurvres from the refreshment table when no one was looking! I swear: the ootoro they ordered was _divine_! It practically _melted_ in my mouth!

Ahem. Right; back to the story.

Anyway, as soon as the dance ended, Tamaki spread his arms out to the side (making me and Haruhi have to duck to avoid getting _concussions_, that inconsiderate bastard!), and said: "Ah, may this awkward couple forever be blessed!"

Hikaru took that as his cue to say: "And now to crown tonight's Queen!"

And Kaoru quickly followed up with: "Congratulations, Princess Kanako!"

A round of applause quickly ensued. Y'know, maybe I was wrong about the whole 'Dragged me to Hell' thing. Tonight was fun, and it almost made me want to do it full-time.

...actually, _no_, but it was fun!

It was then I noticed something quite strange. I had been ignoring it up until now because I figured they were just hungry, but... weren't the twins eating bananas earlier? What happened to the peels?

Eh, I'll find out soon enough.

"And for her reward: a passionate kiss on the cheek from the King!"

Oh, right. The prize for the Queen was a 'passionate' kiss on the cheek from the King. How a kiss on the cheek can be 'passionate', I have no idea, but... I digress.

Tamaki tilted his face slightly; giving the guests at a 38.5 degree angle before he asked in a seductive voice: "You ready?"

"Fujioka, Haruhi will substitute for Tamaki!"

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting _that_.

At the sight of our shell-shocked (and in my case: horrified) expressions, the world-renowned devils merely shrugged, and, holding the mic away from their mouths, said: "Kyouya-senpai _did_ say that a little accident might make the evening more climatic,"

In other words: this was another scheme to sky-rocket tonight's profits. Lovely.

"There's _no way_ I can kiss her," Came Haruhi's blunt attack.

You go, Haruhi!

Kyouya was fully prepared for this, of course, and parried with: "If you do it, your debt will be cut by a third,"

Haruhi stiffened. That was the killing blow.

_Three, two, one...!_

"Well, it _is_ just a peck on the cheek..."

AND K.O.! KYOUYA WINS BY BLACKMAIL!

As Haruhi was making her way over to Kanako, Honey suddenly asked: "Hey, Ri-chan? Is this Haru-chan's first kiss?"

That question, whether he knew it or not (and I think he did), made everyone look at us.

"Yeah, I guess it is," I placed a contemplative hand on my chin; not noticing the effect my words had on Tamaki until it was too late.

Some 'stalker' I am.

Tamaki, wanting to 'protect' my cousin's first cheek-kiss, jumped forward, accidentally slipped on a banana peel (A-HA!), pushed Haruhi, and caused her to accidentally give Kanako a mouth-to-mouth kiss.

"These damn rich bastards..."

Well, that was a less-than-desirable outcome (for everyone but Kyouya, that is), but... it was an awesome night, so...

My face slowly relaxed into a smile as I glanced from Tamaki, to Haruhi, and to Kyouya - who had an expression of greedy bliss on his face.

_'All's well.'_

* * *

**And... done! **

**Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter of: **_Behind Locked Doors and Sound-Proof Walls!_

**Oh, one more thing: the updating for my other two stories (GotP and LB) will be kind of slow for the time being because I'm working on a couple more fics behind the scenes. **

**That, and I'm trying to make sense of all these plot points that keep coming together in my head! **

**Speaking of which: yes, you _will_ be seeing more of Ayumi's character, and yes, the Ace of Spades card _was_ symbolic. If you can guess what it symbolizes, I'll give a special sneak peek in the next chapter!**

**Until next time,**

**Kitsune232.**


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